Yesterday

Yesterday was a special day. One reason is because we got to be a part of an orphan awareness service at the church I grew up in. I was moved to tears more than once just by looking around the sanctuary and seeing so many beautiful families. I am so inspired by these people. I thought about Zac a lot and wished he was there with us. I also thought a lot about my dad yesterday. I wished he was with us too. November 13, 2001 was the day he died. 10 years ago yesterday. He was driving in his car and his heart stopped and I have never been the same since that day. I was shaken in a mighty way. I have struggled in the past with intense fear and worry. My biggest fear was losing someone I loved with all my heart and that day it happened. Good things will come from shaking. Real things. I know many of you reading this already know that firsthand or have at least heard it before. I have said before that nowhere in the Bible does it say we are promised an easy life but that it's in the hard things that we grow and see our need for God. I desperately need Him. There is no life without Him. I miss my dad so much. I could write pages and pages about growing up with a dad who adored me and what an enormous impact that makes on a girl...about how God brought me face to face with fear and showed me that there is nothing to fear when we are living for His Kingdom first and see that he wasn't joking when he said this life is the blink of an eye. A kingdom perspective changes everything. The picture above is my family with my mom and brother. I think about what it would be like if my dad was in that picture too. I think about how short life is and wonder why he couldn't stay with us longer. The hardest part is my kids not knowing him as they grow up.

As I remember my dad 10 years later I want to give glory to God more than anything. He is a Good Father. He is the Giver of Peace. He is eternity. He gives us freedom from gripping fear and reminds us what life is really about. I have a thankful heart today.