Introducing...

Introducing...Zachary Dale Vandewater! Can you believe it?? Part of me feels like I need to wait to tell you how EXCITED we are to share these pictures of our happy little boy. But our whole family is already talking about him and eager to ask you to pray for him with us! This is the little boy who will be two in October that I posted about before. I am filling out a massive amount of paperwork right now so we can get his adoption moving. Nothing is "official" yet (that's why I was a little hesitant) but our agency says we get to be his family! We chose the name "Zachary" because it means "the Lord remembers" and we thought that was very fitting. We decided to give him a family name for his middle name because we want him to feel that his name has a special tie to our family, just like his brothers and sisters. "Dale" was Justin's biological dad's middle name and it is also his grandpa Thomason's name.

So with great joy we want to share this precious baby's face with you so you can picture him when you lift him up to Jesus. We just received the top picture last week and we all commented on how happy he looks - we pray He is filled with the joy of the Lord! Thank you for sharing this with us. We are taking it one step at a time and we are abundantly thankful for God's plan to add another little boy to our family!

Narnia

We just finished watching the most recent Narnia movie and I can't stop thinking about the song, "How great the Father's love for us, how vast beyond all measure! That He would give His only Son, to make a wretch His treasure." I loved it all, but I am in complete awe at the picture of our Father's love for us. After we watched the movie I said to my girls, "Don't you just want to give Aslan a big hug. Can you see how much he LOVES His children?" He is not just a big God out there somewhere. He is a loving Father. He loves us so much. I am so humbled by this. That the God who created everything, who is worthy of everything we could possibly give, who spoke the universe into being...He hears my prayers and He wants me, us, close to him.

I heard someone say that blogging is selfish. I can see his point. Blogging in general tends to be "all about me". But I hope and pray that I write when I feel the Lord leading me to and that I will learn from my own words (which I ask to be His words) on the days when I find myself in the lowest place and can look back on what He has taught me and how I know right now that He is worth it all and Jesus always wins the battle.

update

We had an exciting weekend so I wanted to give a quick update. After we found out our first little guy had been adopted by another family we took another look at our agency's waiting child list. I decided to inquire about two little boys. Later Justin was looking at the list again and pointed to a little boy and said, "He's the one." And, yes, he is one I had inquired about! I thought that was pretty awesome - especially since that is not really like Justin to do that. Sooo we got more pictures and medical info on him. He was reported to be Hepatitis C positive so I researched Hep C like crazy. I might consider myself nearly an expert now =). The neat thing is that a few months ago I would not have even considered looking more closely at a child with an infectious disease. I was still stuck in the 80's mentality that turns away from letters like "HIV". A family that I don't even know led me to ask the question, would I be willing to adopt a child who was HIV positive? This family has adopted a little girl who is HIV positive and they want to raise awareness and let people know that it is something they live a wonderful life with. I educated myself on HIV and found that after I did that, I wasn't scared of it anymore. So I believe it is because I was led to do that research that I didn't immediately disregard this little boy who was Hep C positive. I know Hep C and HIV and separate diseases but both bring about fear in people - at least they did in me. I am very thankful for families like the one I read about that are passionate about teaching people the truth so more babies have a chance to have a family.

So back to this little boy! We decided that we could do all the research in the world but really wanted to talk to someone about the disease and ask questions to a person instead of a computer screen. I had even told our agency that were almost certain we would say yes to adopting this little boy but would let them know for sure after we had talked to a doctor and had our questions answered. I had a hard time finding a doctor who would help me but finally was led to a woman in Ohio who is a doctor and an adoptive mom too! She called me and we got to talk a couple of times. She is a wonderful lady and I couldn't thank her enough! We felt really good about giving our agency a "yes" even though we knew it wouldn't be an easy road. We learned that there are definitely precautions to take but that Hep C is a "wimpy" virus and very rarely transferred within the household. The most encouraging thing I learned is that 85% of the time babies under the age of 2 who test positive for Hep C don't actually end up having the virus, they just test positive because they have the antibodies in them from their mother that leave the body by age two. This little boy will be two in October!

So here's the best news of all...yesterday I got an e-mail from our agency saying that the little boy was tested again and not only does he not have liver damage, he is not testing postitive for Hep C anymore!! My jaw dropped open and I couldn't believe what I was reading! I even e-mailed the agency back and said, "Did you mean to say that or was it a mistake?" It wasn't a mistake - she has been told that he is no longer testing positive. Wow - talk about amazed. I could go on and on about how we had peaceful assurance about him even though we knew his "special need" as they say, was a serious one. We prayed for his healing and knew a love was growing in our hearts for him. So I am excited to tell you that we have officially said YES to a little 19-month-old miracle in Taiwan and we couldn't be more thankful. I will keep you posted on what happens next! It's been a great Mother's Day!

thank-you

Ahhh...that's how I feel after a really big week. But I couldn't be more thankful for all the wonderful people who helped us with the garage sale! It brought in around $2500 for our adoption! Amazing!! I was overcome more than a few times (I am tearing up as I write this) at the community around us. Our church family blew me away. I am so blessed to be able to say that we go to a church that is not just a bunch of people we see on Sunday - they are our family. They donated, baked, worked, brought tables, folded. The Crossing knows how to love and serve and I love you guys so much. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I wish everyone could experience that kind of community and support because I'm pretty sure that's the way Jesus intended it to be. I couldn't say enough to thank you. Thank you for loving our family and supporting us in this.

A special thank you too to our moms. Nancy and Nancy. They helped tremendously with the kiddos and we couldn't have done it without them. We have the best moms in the world. They love us unconditionally and support us in any way they can. And they are completely adored by their grandchildren!!!

The best part of the week was all the conversations I got to have with people. Not only my friends who came to help (a garage sale is a great way to build community!) but with the countless people who saw our sign that said "Adoption Fundraiser" and were so excited about adoption. Most people had some sort of connection to adoption and it is so clear that God is moving mightily on behalf of the orphans. I talked to adoptive moms, grandparents, sisters, friends. I talked to two different birthmothers who told me they had a child they gave up for adoption and they were so excited about what we were doing. I didn't even know what to say. These women are amazing. I had a few "grandpa types" come up to me while their wives were looking around the sale and they gave me a donation for our adoption. Those were the ones that brought me to tears. These sweet men who looked me in the eye and said, "I felt like I was supposed to give you this." I am overwhelmed even as I write this. They reminded me of my dad. He would have done something like that too.

I just can't express how thankful I am. I just can't think of the right words. I see God's Hand in this. I believe He loves us through the good times and the hard times. Thank you Mom F., Mom V., Grandma Lorene, Anika, Cherish, Char, Aunt Marcia, Sarah, Majesta, Katarah, Jaime, Angela, Daniel, Regina, Natalie, Celeste, Liz, TJ, Traci, Joel, Desire, Cass, Marin, Sheri, Shannon, Noah, Ellen, Abigail, Michelle, Sheena, Heidi, Emily, Xanady, Roo, Sheri, Mindy, Jamie, Summer and so many others for showing us His love. We love you too.

Trust

Today was bittersweet. As I was pricing and organizing for our garage sale we got a call from our agency to tell us that the little boy we were hoping to adopt is going to be adopted by another family. We knew this was a possibility but when I heard them say he wasn't going to be ours I realized how much I had believed he would be. So I looked at his picture on our fridge and said good-bye with some tears, thankful for his precious role in this journey. He will always be a part of this story. We have trusted that this is all God's plan and not ours so we are still pressing on with adoption and are still very excited to see what God has in store! He knows our family and our hearts and tonight I just have to trust...

Kingswood Rummage Fundraiser

I just wanted to quickly post that we will be having a garage sale the week of the famous Kingswood Rummage, April 26-30, and all the proceeds will be going toward adopting our little guy! We would appreciate any help we could get, but especially need manpower and baked goods to sell. So if you would be willing to give a couple hours of your time that week to either come and work at the garage sale or bake something yummy to sell (or donate snacks from Sam's Club!) we would be so grateful! I assume if you are close enough to help you also know how to get ahold of me so I don't have to post all my contact info for all the world to see =) We also welcome donations! Thank you so much for helping us raise the funds to adopt! No new news by the way - it will be awhile I think but I will keep you posted!

here we go

On March 7 I finally broke. If you know me or have read my blog before, you know orphans and adoption are always on my heart. In a nutshell, the thought of a child without a mommy is unacceptable and yet so real. The thought of a little one never getting the chance to hear the name of Jesus rips my heart apart. I had taken a "break" from reading my e-mails from Bringing Hope to Children. I was waiting. On March 7 I decided to look again. I saw a picture of a little boy and I wept. I've been brought to tears before while praying for these beautiful faces but this was different. He reminded me of Joah - four years old, tiny little guy, sweet face. He is on the waiting child list and I am bursting to tell you that we have started the process to adopt him!! So here we go!!

Read on if you'd like more details...=)

First of all, I have decided that I'm not going to worry about being perceived as crazy. We do have four little ones already! (Crazy really is a good thing in my mind!) To be honest, I am perfectly content, happy, beyond grateful for my amazing kids. I would be just "fine" not going through this process. It would be easier and much more comfortable. But I can tell you right now that I am not okay with content and comfortable. If there is a child out there that God is leading me to, how could I say no because my house isn't big enough or what about college funds or I am blessed to be able to have biological kids - why adopt? I LOVE to love children. Our whole family does. Our kids have been talking about adoption for a year now and when we told them about this, their reaction was more like, "Yeah, it's about time!" They are not surprised because their hearts also break for children who don't have mommies and daddies. I know it will be hard but I truly believe that God is leading this journey and I desperately want to walk in obedience. I have been praying that I won't run ahead of Him, that I won't get caught up in the "romantic" side of adoption because then my eyes will stray. I pray my heart out for this little boy and ask that if I really am supposed to be his mommy, that God will have him wait for us because he is listed with other agencies. I trust my Savior's leading on this. There is no way this would be happening if He hadn't broken my heart for orphans a few years ago and lead us to this place. It is all His thing - in His Hands. My role is to be obedient and I would be so grateful if you would pray that we would be wholly obedient to Him in this.

I fully know that it might not be this particular little 4-year-old that we adopt. But, boy is he ingrained in my heart forever. God may lead us to another child. But for right now just the thought of him brings tears to my eyes. Yesterday a sweet friend offered to watch my boys and I ended up parking my car at a park and having some time with Jesus. I listened to a favorite worship song that says, "Pour out your Spirit, Lord, on your people...Pour out your mercy, Lord, on your people...Pour out salvation, Lord, on your people...Pour out your power, Lord, on your people...let it rain". I thought about this little boy - one of millions - who needs someone to cry out on his behalf for salvation and mercy to be poured out on him, on his country. I prayed the words of this song for my own city. We need Jesus!!! There is no other way to real life and hope. I am so blessed to have this little boy in my life right now. He is teaching me quite a lot from Taiwan (that's where he's from by the way =).

Thank you for caring about us and for reading this! We are so thrilled to be sharing this news with you. There's so much more on my heart but I will save it for another day. At this point we have applied with an agency and have been accepted so we are working on the next step - so this is all brand new. It will be around three months before we know if this is the little boy who will join our family. The way I understand it, his birth mother and social worker will need to approve us, which I haven't heard of very often. He is in foster care and we are told that he is "spoiled" by his foster mom and is known to throw some fits. Yet another way he reminds me of Joah!! (You are laughing right now if you know Joah personally =)

All glory and praise be only to God, the defender of the orphans and the one who holds the world in His Hands! Thanks for sharing our joy!